Past, Present, or Future?

Writing from my perspective only, I can say that I do have an appreciation of the past, present and the future. This might seem like a ridiculous statement to make?

How I have these appreciations and where in me they sit are two very interesting questions and are a little more difficult to answer with certainty. The questions started to become more and more relevant as I began a period of fearless self-reflection.

Experiencing time is a very personal process. Not only are we all entitled to experience time in our own way (there is no correct or incorrect experience) but family, community, society and national culture may also influence your experience.

I have previously read and thoroughly enjoyed a book by Fons Trompenaars & Charles Hampden-Turner, ‘Riding the Waves of Culture’ . National, cultural perspectives of time are recognised and different, who knew? So, what was my own perspective? Surely I would know? Surely we all know how we relate to something as fundamental as the passage of time………….?

When I did sit and think, I got an unclear sense. Lots of thoughts, but muddled. Back to the books!

Trompenaars & Hampden-Turner illustrate the need to have a shared expectation of time because how we think of time has its own consequences. There are two broad notions of time. First, time as a line of discrete events, passing in a never-ending succession. Secondly, time as a circle, revolving so that the seconds, minutes, hours & days repeat.

Further to this, Kluckhohn & Strodtbeck, “Variations in Value Orientations, 1960” anthropologically identified three types of culture:

• Present-oriented - Timeless, without tradition and ignores the future.

• Past-oriented - Mainly concerned with maintaining traditions in the present.

• Future-oriented - envisioning a better future and setting out to realise it.

How we think of time affects everything we do, how we plan, how we interact with others. Time is an idea. Our appreciation of time might strongly influence our values and beliefs. Our appreciation of time is also changed by perspective.

When I flew planes for a living, we would routinely fly as high as possible for all sorts of reasons but primarily fuel efficiency. At 28,000ft, looking down on the UK landscape it would appear that we were hardly progressing, our map indication moving agonisingly slowly toward our destination. Yet, from the ground looking up, our plane would be screaming across the sky, often leaving condensation trails behind us, looking like we would be at the destination in no time at all. And we have all had those hours that seem to last for days when we are waiting for something.

When teaching young military pilots how to deal with sudden, critical emergencies our primary objective was to teach the importance of balancing the need to act with urgency with the risks associated with rushing actions. Often, we would just let the pilots do what comes naturally, sitting back and recording their actions to a simulated emergency. This was commonly done in a simulator for safety reasons. More often than not, the pilots would rush their actions and decision making, creating more problems for themselves. This was true even when they were consciously trying to slow down. I would challenge them,

“When the warning lights and alarms sound, do nothing for 20 seconds”

We would re-run the same scenario, this time they would sit still for 20 seconds, fighting every sinew not to jump in and start pressing buttons.

“How long does 20 seconds feel like?”

I would get a variety of answers but generally 20 seconds would feel like at least a minute! Using that 20 seconds wisely becomes the key to success. Over a period of 12 months, these young men and women would slowly become accustomed to controlling their breathing, slowing time down, being deliberate and trying to be as slow and methodical as possible. In ‘real life’ an observer would see a well orchestrated, calm flow of hands and voices, quickly dealing with a dangerous situation.

Next time someone say to you that they don’t have a spare minute, ask them to hold their breath for 30 seconds! A minute is a long time!

We digress!

I believe in the past, present and future. On balance I would say that I believe my present view of the world at any one time is heavily influenced by the past, and for most of the time in my life, the present and future have been full of fear. However, there would have been a time in which the future would have seemed exciting….I’m sure of it.

So, my present is influenced by the past and my expectations of the future…..all interdependent and tied to my values and beliefs. What could be more simple?

Oh yes, how and where I feel my relationship with each.

My life has been dominated by fears. Additionally, as an adoptee, I had an unknown origin to add to this equation. I would use the past as a fantasy safe zone, clear, colourful, happy and controlled by my imagination. I definitely feel the past in my head.

The present and future are far more difficult for me to deal with. The present and future are darker, less colourful, not in perfect focus, as if I am just catching a fleeting glimpse of something and then quickly averting my eyes. I feel the present and the future in my chest and stomach, conscious of my heart rate as I do so. I don’t want to stay in the present or the future, always reaching a limit and escaping.

This would be true in real life sense too. At social occasions I would very abruptly feel an overwhelming threat from something and have to leave. ‘Swing Door Shaw’ was a nickname in the RAF (amongst others). Latterly I would describe myself as being like a labrador dog, always needing a safe sanctuary, away from the humans, next to an imaginary fireplace. In real life, my sanctuary would be home, a bedroom, a car.

Thinking about your relationships with time can be so valuable. Be patient, read into these subjects gently and give yourself plenty of time for fearless reflection. Speak to a coach if increasing the level of understanding you have about yourself would help you in your goals achievement. Take a look at ‘Riding the Waves of Culture’ if you are finding professional relationships challenging, especially if you are lucky enough to work across countries, cultures and organisations.

Fearless coaching starts with understanding and accepting yourself.